Find out whether your visions for the future match up. "Often relationships are built on similar life experience, and the difference between daily work and retirement can be quite a marked one," Lester explains. If his working days are behind him and you're still focused on a job and all the ambitions, woes, and time demands that come with it, you may struggle to connect at the end of the day.
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According to Lester, if you're seeing someone who is ten or more years older than you, "he's likely to have children who are less dependent on him, and have more free time-which can be particularly helpful if your kids are still more dependent." If he's retired and you're not, relating to each other can be a challenge. A man who's already been married and raised kids has no carpool schedules to contend with, which can mean he's got more time to plan amazing dates. Maybe you're dating after a divorce, and you're a single mom who needs to carve out the time for a love life. With kids out of the nest, an older man may have more time for you. She just might love getting involved with a person who's on equally-solid ground (and has been there for awhile). The Benefits and Challenges of Dating Younger MenĪ woman in her 40s or older has plenty of hard-won lessons and accomplishments of her own to tout, of course.Inside Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor's Love.That said, extra years of life experience do often lead to greater maturity in relationships, and more life wisdom." Related Stories "It depends upon the individual and their development and history.
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"People often ask whether an older man is more mature than a younger one," Sherman adds. Stability, a strong sense of self, and advancement in his career are things older men can potentially bring to the table more often than a man in his 20s or 30s can, says Sherman. "In terms of life experience and maturity, an age gap at 50 or 60 isn't particularly dramatic." An older man who's worthy of your time knows what he wants in a relationship.
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"The older you get, the less of a challenge it's likely to pose," Lester continues. Three years later, search #husbandnotdad on Instagram and you'll find a collection of smiling couples on Twitter, the same hashtag's happy photos are interspersed with searingly critical comments, which arguably confirms Thornton's point.Ī range of generation gap-related issues (more on those below) can be easier to bridge when you're over 40 as well.
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When a young woman named Courtney Thornton (née Barber) took flak both online and off in 2016 for falling in love with a man 25 years her senior, she started the hashtag #husbandnotdad to encourage others in the same boat to share their stories. While an older man dating a younger woman tends to raise less eyebrows than a woman's romance with a younger man, the dynamic isn't exactly stigma-free-particularly when the age gap is significant. We bring all of our prior life experience to any relationship we enter, so how much does it matter that one person's history is years (or decades) longer than the other's? Here, two experts weigh in on the benefits of dating an older man, as well as the potential drawbacks.ĭating an older man in your 20s and 30s is much different than dating one in your 40s, 50s, and 60s. When it comes to dating, age is just one among many factors to consider as you seek your match.